In The Night


Have you ever drifted off to sleep, but not quite fallen away completely?

Sure you have - it happens to all of us at one time or another. It happened to me the other night. As I fell into that zone where I was half-awake and half-asleep I had an idea. At first, it was just the barest kernel of an idea. It was a gold nugget muddied in the stream of sleep. Slowly, the sleep-sand washed away and the idea focused into beautiful clarity.

It was about seeking the truth and reporting what I find right here on my blog. It was all so clear, and so perfect, and so easy to understand. I swore to myself right there in the twilight of my almost-sleep that I'd begin working on this new and exciting project first thing in the morning. I almost snapped on the light to jot down this new crystal-clarity, but I did not.

And then, it was gone. The idea. The clarity. I got up that morning and set to my normal routine with no further thought about the perfect idea for truth-seeking. At some point during the day, I remembered the dream. But the only thing I could draw into focus was how the idea was about truth seeking.

The crystal-clear details, the brilliant gold portion of the idea - all gone. It has not returned either. My last blog - it was a blog that told you of the longing that permeates my being - a yearning for the truth. I told you of how I don't see it much anymore. I see lies everywhere, and for a long time now that has been the case. Lies from local, state and federal politicians are common-place.

We accept lies now as if they are no more important than a tick of the clock. I see lies at work out of coworkers. Lies that directly affect people's lives. I see lies from neighbors as they cheat on their spouses and pursue lifestyles they cannot possibly afford - lying to themselves about their income and their stature and their ability to keep a promise.

I don't know what my idea was in that twilight sleep-zone. It's gone. I can almost reach out and touch it in the dark, but not quite. I hope it returns to me, and that I will be wise enough to snap on the light and jot down the basics of the idea.

At the other end of things, maybe it was all a dream. Wishing for honesty and truth and goodness between us - just a dream - so I suppose it is fitting that this wonderful, bright, beautiful gold-kissed and sun-warmed idea should be just a dream. That must be what happened. There is no idea for the truth, and I lie to myself in thinking so.

I do know that we need a reset. A total, complete reset. Smashmouth has a song, Satellite, I believe. There is a lyric in that song, "You pushed the reset button on the counter of my heart," that sounds sort of silly in this context, but I believe we all need to push that reset button.

Maybe somehow help each other push it.