Feeling It

I'm feeling really depressed right now.  My son just left to go back to Ft. Benning.  In just days he'll be flying out for Afghanistan.  We don't know where he will be once he is in Afghanistan, except that he'll be in Afghanistan.  He doesn't even know. 

All I can tell you is that I'm feeling pretty bummed.  If you happen by here, and you pray, please pray for me.  I'm really hurting.  And pray for my son Tim's safety and well-being.  Thank you.

A Sobering World

It is a sobering world we live in, yes?  This whole thing with George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin has most of us asking some very important questions about racial harmony. 

Do you think we can ever achieve it?  I'm not so sure.  Perhaps one day in the future, after all of the last vestiges of what it means to be an American have been scrubbed out of our schools and universities, it will be attainable, but that remains to be seen.  I think many of our metro-sexual males these days don't really think in terms like I do.  Pop music tastes of the young seem to reflect that these days.  A mixture of rap and rock is popular with our youth.  Even rap music is popular with many of the young whites these days.  It should be well known (as well as obvious) that Mr. Obama could not possibly have been elected without the white youth vote.  And they voted for him in droves.  But, I don't want to lose my point here.  Which is: perhaps someday in the future, we can have racial harmony, but I don't see it any time soon. 

But see, then there's me.  I'm 50.  I have some black friends.  I mean, we don't hang out, but I count them as friends.  I even have black neighbors.  We get along fine.  They are quiet and keep their house and yard up.  And those are my only requirements for you to be my neighbor.  If you lead a relatively quiet life and keep your house and yard up, I could not care less what you look like.  You could be candy-striped for all I care. 

Yet, at the same time, I just don't hang out with any black folks.  I'm too different.  I don't care for Obama (didn't like Bush either, but that's another story).  Virtually every black person I know thinks Obama is awesome.  In many cases, blacks don't think like I do.  For example, I think it's crystal clear that O.J. Simpson murdered Nicole Simpson.  But I will never forget the sheer joy and happiness I saw in my black coworkers when he was found not guilty of Nicole's death at trial.  When I heard about George Zimmerman, my only thought (other than "here we go again") was, "Let the facts come out.  Don't rush to judgement."  But here in Florida, we had people marching in the streets threatening to kill George Zimmerman.  The New Black Panther Party called for his DEATH.  Can you imagine that?  Can you imagine any white calling for the death of a black in public?  That guy would be tarred and feathered and have to go into hiding for a long time.  See, there's another disconnect in our thinking.  A guy that was clearly guilty got away with murder, but a guy that hasn't even been tried yet is guilty and deserves to die. 

My musical tastes are different, I don't care for a lot of "soul food" though I admit I haven't tried much of it.  Not because I'm a racist, but because I've heard the ingredients and I'm pretty sure I don't want a lot of it.  But I do love me some greens now!  I think much of affirmative action is reverse discrimination.  I don't care to see the underwear of black males either.  See, I'm just too different, and this explains why I don't hang around with blacks.  I don't hate their being different.  Some of it I don't understand, but I don't hate over it. 

I could go on, but you probably get the picture by now.  But you know something?  I don't hang out with Serbians or Chinese either.  Those are different cultures.  They like their cultures.  I like mine. 

In the end, we have to find a way to get along.  Respect for each other's views would go along way toward that, but I will always believe this is a spiritual struggle more than anything.  Scripture makes it clear in Ephesians 6:12 "For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens."  We must learn to accept that we are different, and no amount of forcing it can make it go away. 

What is required more than anything is humbling ourselves.  I must, once and for all, get it through my head that I am no better than anyone else.  I must learn to see everyone for exactly what we all are: broken, damaged, fallen. 

Cross references:

1. Ephesians 6:12 : Php 3:3
2. Ephesians 6:12 : 1Pt 3:22
3. Ephesians 6:12 : Mt 6:13; Jn 17:15
4. Ephesians 6:12 : Eph 1:3,20; 2:6; 3:10; Php 2:10

It's All Fabulous!

Hey, how's that for a blog title?  Pretty sneaky, eh?  Because it is not all fabulous.  It never is.  You know that. 

But I did want to check in with my couple of regular readers.  Hi! 

Life for me is pretty good these days.  Anyone that has ever read here with any regularity knows that I am blessed with the finest wife a man could ever hope for.  She really is Superwoman.  "She cooks!  She cleans!  She brings home the bacon and fry's it up in a pan!"  No, really - she does all that and more.  I try and do my part.  I'm a responsible person in my own right, so it's not out of pure gratitude that I hold up my end of the bargain, but gratitude for her hard work does keep me pushing on.  I cook and clean too.  And yeah, in case you're wondering, I hold down a regular job. 

A few blogs back, I said that I would not make every blog about my rediscovery of faith.  I'm finding that hard to do.  Faith has become such a big part of my life these days.  Plus, I think, to be completely accurate, no matter what I said in past blogs, what I meant was that I would not become a sort of "gospel-goofball" type where my every comment on your blog and here at my blog is about faith and Christianity. 

Like I said above, that's harder than I thought it would be.  Why?  Well, when you find yourself in a good and happy place, it's hard to not tell others about it.  And that's where I am.  Perfect life?  Hardly.  I never want to be trite or flippant.  Following Christ is not all roses and crowns.  Often, it is very difficult.  People that say things like, "Just believe in Jesus and your life will be all better," are either ignorant new believers, or something worse.  I definitely still have troubles and problems.  But they sure are easier to handle when handled with faith. 

It looks like my son - the one on active duty in the U.S. Army - is headed to Afghanistan sometime within the next few months.  I think he'll be okay, but I still wish he was not going.  He wants to go.  Not because he wants to go and fight.  He will fight if it comes to that, but he looks at it from the point of, "I can make some good money over there and come back and pay my car off."  He will go over there surrounded by our prayers and love.  I have told him over and over again to be respectful of the Afghan people.  I truly believe that most of them are just like most of us - in that they just want to live a decent life and raise their children in peace. 

I know, from the stats page, that folks from other countries read here.  To those of you that are not U.S. citizens, and are living in a foreign country, please believe me when I say that the average American just wants to live in peace with you.  Our government has been captured by very wealthy people with interests in huge banks and corporations that make weapons.  We are working towards taking our government back, but it will take some time.  People are wising up though, and you will begin to see that in our elections.  Most of us just want to live in peace and raise our children in peace.  And remember this about Americans.  We have been in many foreign countries over the 225+ years of our existence - all we have left behind are the graves of American soldiers - and usually, more choices for the citizens. 

So Over It

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I am quitting politics.  From this moment forward, I vow to discuss politics only with my family and that only occasionally. 

Why you ask?  Well, maybe you don’t ask.  Maybe you could care less.  I’m going to assume that if you’re still reading, you do wonder why.  OK, I will try to sum up my thoughts and feelings for you.

It is a waste of my time.  I’m not really going to influence anyone that has their mind made up.  From what I can tell, that is just about every person with a pulse.  They may not admit it publicly, but deep inside they know whom they favor.  Some folks feign independence or open-mindedness, but I’m not buying it.  I will allow (in the interest of avoiding another pointless argument) that some folks really do not have any idea as to which candidate they will vote for, but those types are few and far between.  Let’s face it – people, by and large, are going to vote for the establishment candidates. 

My personal belief is that the two major party candidates are selected and vetted by the real power in this country: the very wealthy.  There are other very wealthy, non-citizens outside of this country that also have a say.  Politics is all about money and power.  Money and power provide influence.  I have very little money, no power and zero influence.   Ultimately, politicians care very little about what we lower middle-class folks think.  They will only listen if we are in mass agreement, and that is almost guaranteed not to happen until we have some sort of mega-disaster that jars people into realistic thinking and caring about things outside of their own little TV and mass media soaked world. 

I’m sick and tired of it.  Seriously.  We change teams every few years or so and things never get better.  The government NEVER GETS LESS POWER.  Government never shrinks or has fewer departments and fewer laws.  It’s always a net gain for government – which should explain to any thoughtful person how we’ve ended up with giant leviathan we call our central, federal government. 

Every election it’s the same thing.  The Red Team gets mad at the Blue Team.  Red Team wins.  Government gets more power.  Blue Team gets mad at Red Team.  Blue Team wins.  Government gets more power.  Inevitably, some people begin to think that a new party or an independent candidate might be the answer.  They are then laughed out of politics by the giant money/media/corporate machine that selects the two party candidates we get to vote for.  Lies are made up and distortions of record, void of any contextual anchor are ginned up, while any past mistake or missteps that the third party independent candidate has made are blown out of proportion and context.  Viola – the candidate has no chance at election. 

People get genuinely angry over this stuff.  Some even literally hate you if you’re on the opposite team.  I have had enough.  I’m getting off the carousel.  I’m not saying I won’t vote, but I am done discussing it.  Under the current corporate owned system, I find myself amused if you think you have any real power or influence with your vote. 

I will close with a prediction.  It’s not like I’m taking much of a chance here, but I predict that after the next election, government will get bigger and have more influence over your personal life – no matter which establishment party candidate wins. 

Looking Back - Looking Forward

As I look back over 2011, I see a lot of things in my life.  At the risk of sounding the braggart, I grew as a human.  I grew in my trust in God.  Yet, at the same time, I admit that I am a weakling.  There are times when I wish to give up and scream “I don’t understand anything!” 

2011 was filled with answered prayer.  Again, at risk of sounding like I’m bragging, the prayers that my wife and I have seen answered are just too amazing to be coincidental.  Trying to list them from memory is tough, but here are a few. 

We prayed that our son would not have to deploy to Afghanistan.  Inexplicably, his deployment was cancelled.

Our son had duty on Thanksgiving Day.  We prayed that he’d be able to come home anyway.  Someone took his watch. 

Without going into detail, after a near-disaster by those that replaced me, I was restored to my former position at work.

We never really prayed for it, but we did occasionally mention how some extra money would really help us to help others, as well as set us up on a good path.  Completely by surprise, and again, leaving out details, $11,000 arrived in the mail.

We felt led to give some money to a complete stranger.  We did not wish to identify ourselves in the process, but after leaving the money in their mailbox, I decided, against the strong feeling that it wouldn’t matter, that I had to make sure they, and not the mailman, got the money.  So, I rolled by their house in my truck, and the husband was out front.  I yelled, “Hey, check your mailbox!”  He said, “Stop!  Stop!  Turn into my drive!  I got the money!  You did that?”  Well, I was busted.  He told me, “You have no idea how much we needed that money.  Thank you so much.”  I told him that I never wanted him to know that we gave the money, and I meant it when I said to him, “Thank God, because God made it possible.”  Aside from my failure to trust the strong signal God gave me that this man and his wife would get the money out of their mailbox before the mail man, this whole episode was an incredible blessing.

Honestly, I could go on, but I don’t have the time, and there has been so much answered prayer, that I’m actually losing track of it all.  I know that sounds a bit ungrateful, but I can’t help my memory.  It is what it is. 

I learned a lot over the year.  I’m amazed at the world’s western “democracies” and their power to kick the can down the road.  I don’t understand how they have managed to keep the global “Ponzi scheme” going, but they have.  I find it very disturbing though.  Why?  Because when they run out of cans to kick, the crash is going to be that much worse. 

But, back to God – a favorite subject of mine these days.  I would never expect those of you that do not believe to really listen to anything I have to say.  One can read my past blogs and see just what a failure I have been.  I never set out to fail, or to doubt, or to give my friends any reason to doubt – yet, here I am.  Honestly, I do not know how I went almost a decade without acknowledging God.  So many things happened – mostly for the negative – yet God had mercy on me and drew me back.  And that leads me to my prediction for 2012.  God will continue to grow me.  God will continue to work in my life, and I’ll report about that here as the months go by.